THE FESTIVE LADIES

(African setting comic)

The day appeared so dull and calm,I stared at my cell phone and beheld Maureen calling.

I have known Maureen since November 2022,we met on Twitter after we clashed on a tweet. From a " hi hi" pleasantry we moved to whatsapp. I kept postponing our first date due to one reason and issue to the other. Emphatically, Maureen is good looking,but not entirely pretty. To me,I have more liking for girls of her type —slender ,ebony and adventurous.

At different times in our chats,she has questioned me about what I want in a woman, what and how I view her and at times tried to present an overwhelming conversation that would have changed my mind towards my present girlfriend. Gush! , She's the type that keeps the chat flowing till you have to aghast at the time of the night.

One time,she alleged to call off her relationship due to "his" inability to fulfill her fantasies. I couldn't fathom who and which of the men she posted on her status was her main boyfriend. But I assume many men just like me,are being kept busy with her active and social life.

This Christmas season,she has insisted that we meet for the first time since I will be coming home — to a town close to hers ;Nnewi in Anambra state. I reluctantly agreed.

We lost contact five days before Christmas. I retrieved my line on twenty-seventh of December and boom,behold was her call. Actually I didn't recognize the caller. It was after the pleasantry that I was able to deduce the caller.

" You have play me ojoro !" Her voice echoed at her end, apparently she might be in an open hall.

I was surprised.Of course it took me time to fathom out of the moon her accusation. I took a smile,still a glance around my room and heaved. I understand now, of course our girls are looking for where to hang their butts this festival.

"I lost my phone Maureen" I muttered and threw my back on my bed.

Somewhere beside my bed,I could perceive the scintillating aroma from the chicken mama prepared and served in my room. I stared at it and gulped a mouthful of saliva.

"And you forgot your promise after all," She said. Though I worried if that was a question or a statement of accusation.

"I will make it up,I promise" I assured and smiled.

"Today?" She asked exasperatedly.

"Not really,but will intimate you on an appropriate date" I objected.

There was silence,I knew it didn't go down well with her. I heard her take a deep breath,a heave and then sighed faintly.

"Okay,I will come to your side today. I will see you." I said and instantly I felt her leapt with joy. " Kindly send me an address".

I hopped into my car and drove through the festive traffic, and slowly got to her designated joint. I guess this spot wasn't a regular cheap place to bill someone on a first date,but,I also assume she wouldn't eat more than her stomach. I met her sitting close to the entrance,quite charming and alluring, whilst a curl of smiles adoring her face. She blushed as I threw a hug and felt a brush of her breasts' on my chest. She's really tempting,with the musk of her feminine perfume throwing a welcome atmosphere.

The menu was presented.I was going through it after she had made an order when I heard a boisterous shrill and screams. I abruptly stole a glance at the direction of the noise…behold were two ladies of her age approaching our table.

"Is it here you hide with a handsome man Maureen? You're a wicked' girl o " The fairy lady complained.

"That's her way,I wouldn't be deceived to believe she will ever have time to spare for us ladies. She's lucky " Her partner chipped and Drew a chair towards our table.

I was bewildered. It was obvious, absolutely clear like crystal that this was a set up . It wasn't today,I knew of this prank and tricks. I stared at Maureen,with enough written worries.

"They're my friends, leave them" She said and threw a mischievous chuckle.

The waiter quickly made haste and stood beside me. I showed her my request and picked my phone.

"Please triple my request,we are three ladies here" Maureen ordered.

I kept my eyes steadily on my phone. I have heard and read about this encounter of such frivolous women with the taste of partying on predators. I took a quick racking of mind. I excused myself, I could see their worried faces, apparently thinking I might be on the run. I dashed out, called one of the friends residing in Nnewi…goodness,he was in town and just a kilometer away from our junction. I told him my plight and quickly asked his Assistant.

Dude was quick to proffer a solution. He beckoned on me to go back and to sacrifice for just the day. Good things come at times from disappointments– he alleged over the phone.

When I got back,I met them picking the chicken like farted kids. Happiness filled their faces when they saw me. I discovered a change in their eating habits. They began to eat well and gulp down their drink steadily. Just like saying " jackpot", there was him – Chidozie standing at the entrance of the hall. I waved and gestured to him to come over.

After a few greetings, Chidozie didn't take much time to pick a liking with one of the girls—the fair one. He began to converse actively with her, asking questions and laughing at every one of her dry jokes. He looked at me,and gave me a signal eye-message. I got it.

I began to speak to the second lady who identified her name as Christie. Maureen was left aloof and alone. Each topic she tried to initiate was either hauled and ignored by me or Chidozie. We systematically avoided every possible way to keep her communicated,as if planned,her friends gave us more attention than anticipated.

"I think we should be preparing to go," Maureen announced suddenly.

I felt a victorious happiness in me,her face was writing with defeat and frustration. I smiled and threw a chunk of meat into my mouth.

"That's too early Maureen, c'mon" I looked at the other ladies and then at Chidozie " are you guys quick to go home?"

" Oh no..,no na …of course not " They stammered and chorused.

After like thirty minutes,we agreed to dismiss. On our way out ,I brought out some notes…counted five thousand and gave it to Christie as a Christmas gift. Chidozie was mischievously overwhelmed and expressed delight. He shoved his hand into his pocket and gave uncounted money to the other fairly lady.

Without much Ado and time,we bid them farewell, promising to keep in touch since we collected each of their phone numbers. I willed not to look at Maureen,I sensed a defeat and frustration still written on her face. I hurried to my vehicle and steered through, bidding them more farewell and then leaving a scratch on the tarred road.

I have not spoken to her since then nor chatted. I spent a lot of time viewing her motivational status and wondering if they were meant for me or the other cheerful partners.

Christie was with me yesterday before I left for the City. Today, Maureen called for the first time this year.

" You're a disappointment. Though I did something awful but you shouldn't have paid me like this…even to sleep with my friend I invited to a date. You men are scu'm " She blasted,hauled and ended the call.

Few minutes later,I got a short SMS from her.

"I am sorry for everything" it read.

The end

Thanks for reading. Check my other stories for your leisure.